KakaIru ficlet.
May. 23rd, 2007 03:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
midnightdiddleUh. Written 'cause ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dragon_bite was telling me about this absolutely horrid fic with a scroll. And, umm, I wrote this for her.
It's not that Kakashi needs him, because he doesn't. He just wants him. Unrequited KakaIru, mentionings of zomg!het, twisting of emotions, and, uh, vague mentionings of emotional slavery. Sorta.
Scroll Darling
There are scrolls for everything. There are scrolls that summon familiars, scrolls that summon weapons, scrolls that rip and tear and destroy with wind, fire, earth, water. There are scrolls for most anything, from defense to offense to sealing demons away into little children with blue eyes.
There are also scrolls for sealing minds. There are scrolls that, when you smear your blood over the ink and paper, tie people to you so tightly that the mere thought of betrayal is one that can't exist.
It is almost, in a way, like love.
It's not that Kakashi needs someone, because he doesn't. He hasn't needed anyone since Obito and Rin and Sensei, and that was long ago, when Kakashi was small, with thin shoulders that couldn't hold up the weight of the world. Now, though, Kakashi's bigger, better, stronger, and he doesn't need, never needs. He does, however, want.
Like he wants Iruka. He's not quite sure why he wants Iruka, but it might have something to do with the way Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura all look up at Iruka, adult eyes in child faces, and smile. Or it might be the way the Hokage looks thoughtful whenever Iruka says a word. Or the way Iruka has this way of putting everyone on edge, because something always happens when Iruka's around.
Or it might just be because Iruka is alive.
"Come drink with me," Kakashi says, leaning half-way into Iruka's classroom. Iruka's surrounded by scrolls and shuriken, blinking in the growing shadows. "There's a bar--"
"No thanks," Iruka interrupts, barely looking up from whatever's on the desk. Kakashi frowns, steps into the classroom, and Iruka still isn't looking up.
"Iruka--"
"Not interested, thanks," Iruka repeats, then says, "turn on the light when you go, will you?"
Kakashi doesn't turn on the light.
Iruka, it turns out, seems to care less about manners and civility than about work and the pressing need of time, time, time. He brushes Kakashi off with careless flicks of his fingers, turning away and continuing down the hallway, as though Kakashi isn't there, or worse, Kakashi is just another person.
Kakashi takes to dogging his steps, following closer until he trips over Iruka when Iruka stops, a tangle of limbs.
"What," Iruka asks, looking confused, "do you want?"
"Sleep with me," Kakashi says, tries to ignore the way it sounds pleading, and tries to stick his hand down Iruka's pants while he's at it.
"What? No," Iruka snaps, catching Kakashi's wrist and pushing Kakashi away. "Why would I..." He trails off, looks confused, then looks dismayed, full of pity, and Kakashi wants to rip Iruka's face off.
"Oh," Iruka says, like Iruka understands, and Kakashi doesn't feel ashamed, he doesn't. "Oh, I-- Oh. I'm sorry, but I'm really, um, not interested in men. Though I think you're a nice person, but. Well. I'm busy, and I've already got someone. She-- Well--"
Kakashi turns away, starts down the hallway, and Iruka follows him, still full of pity, like Kakashi's a child who's been let down too many times.
"Maybe," Iruka says, nice, friendly, like Iruka is with everyone, while he's running running running through life, "we can go for drinks sometime. I mean, I'd like to be friends with you, I just-- Well. Think about it, will you?"
There are scrolls for everything. There are scrolls that wipe memories clean, until people don't remember anything, not their family or friends or lovers. There are scrolls that can make people feel like they're in love, until they are, because feelings are so easy to manipulate in creatures as fragile as humans are. There are scrolls to make everything right, because in this world, there is no wrong.
It's not that Kakashi needs him, because he doesn't. But Kakashi wants him, and Kakashi always gets what he wants.
dragon_bite was telling me about this absolutely horrid fic with a scroll. And, umm, I wrote this for her.It's not that Kakashi needs him, because he doesn't. He just wants him. Unrequited KakaIru, mentionings of zomg!het, twisting of emotions, and, uh, vague mentionings of emotional slavery. Sorta.
Scroll Darling
There are scrolls for everything. There are scrolls that summon familiars, scrolls that summon weapons, scrolls that rip and tear and destroy with wind, fire, earth, water. There are scrolls for most anything, from defense to offense to sealing demons away into little children with blue eyes.
There are also scrolls for sealing minds. There are scrolls that, when you smear your blood over the ink and paper, tie people to you so tightly that the mere thought of betrayal is one that can't exist.
It is almost, in a way, like love.
It's not that Kakashi needs someone, because he doesn't. He hasn't needed anyone since Obito and Rin and Sensei, and that was long ago, when Kakashi was small, with thin shoulders that couldn't hold up the weight of the world. Now, though, Kakashi's bigger, better, stronger, and he doesn't need, never needs. He does, however, want.
Like he wants Iruka. He's not quite sure why he wants Iruka, but it might have something to do with the way Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura all look up at Iruka, adult eyes in child faces, and smile. Or it might be the way the Hokage looks thoughtful whenever Iruka says a word. Or the way Iruka has this way of putting everyone on edge, because something always happens when Iruka's around.
Or it might just be because Iruka is alive.
"Come drink with me," Kakashi says, leaning half-way into Iruka's classroom. Iruka's surrounded by scrolls and shuriken, blinking in the growing shadows. "There's a bar--"
"No thanks," Iruka interrupts, barely looking up from whatever's on the desk. Kakashi frowns, steps into the classroom, and Iruka still isn't looking up.
"Iruka--"
"Not interested, thanks," Iruka repeats, then says, "turn on the light when you go, will you?"
Kakashi doesn't turn on the light.
Iruka, it turns out, seems to care less about manners and civility than about work and the pressing need of time, time, time. He brushes Kakashi off with careless flicks of his fingers, turning away and continuing down the hallway, as though Kakashi isn't there, or worse, Kakashi is just another person.
Kakashi takes to dogging his steps, following closer until he trips over Iruka when Iruka stops, a tangle of limbs.
"What," Iruka asks, looking confused, "do you want?"
"Sleep with me," Kakashi says, tries to ignore the way it sounds pleading, and tries to stick his hand down Iruka's pants while he's at it.
"What? No," Iruka snaps, catching Kakashi's wrist and pushing Kakashi away. "Why would I..." He trails off, looks confused, then looks dismayed, full of pity, and Kakashi wants to rip Iruka's face off.
"Oh," Iruka says, like Iruka understands, and Kakashi doesn't feel ashamed, he doesn't. "Oh, I-- Oh. I'm sorry, but I'm really, um, not interested in men. Though I think you're a nice person, but. Well. I'm busy, and I've already got someone. She-- Well--"
Kakashi turns away, starts down the hallway, and Iruka follows him, still full of pity, like Kakashi's a child who's been let down too many times.
"Maybe," Iruka says, nice, friendly, like Iruka is with everyone, while he's running running running through life, "we can go for drinks sometime. I mean, I'd like to be friends with you, I just-- Well. Think about it, will you?"
There are scrolls for everything. There are scrolls that wipe memories clean, until people don't remember anything, not their family or friends or lovers. There are scrolls that can make people feel like they're in love, until they are, because feelings are so easy to manipulate in creatures as fragile as humans are. There are scrolls to make everything right, because in this world, there is no wrong.
It's not that Kakashi needs him, because he doesn't. But Kakashi wants him, and Kakashi always gets what he wants.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-24 03:25 am (UTC)This really isn't a way I used to see Kakashi (and still don't), but he had to turn out... Well, in the fic o' doom that
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Date: 2007-05-24 03:55 am (UTC)I like this one. This one is even scarier than physical rape, because with physical rape, you CAN recover from it - you can see, hey, I've been hurt HERE and now I'm recovering... I remember what I used to be like, and now I know I'm getting there.
What Kakashi (I know you don't see him like this, but oh oh oh) does to Iruka is far far worse. Iruka will NEVER be able to see what he used to be like before. He will NEVER be able to remember his love for his girlfriend/wife/partner. He will NEVER be able to remember that he was not attracted to men in the first place.
THAT, in my opinion, is the scariest part.