'Tryin' to Get to Heaven,' Part 11

[midnightdiddle]

It's tomorrow, it's tomorrow! And just so no one can ever say I'm a liar (at least, not a continuing liar....) a part of Tryin'. I hope. Eek.



"Two hours, sensei," Gai assured him, shifting Iruka's limp weight over his hips. "Ready?"

"Ready," Iruka said, trying to pay attention, and Gai began running again.

!-!-!

Kakashi was crouched in the dirt, digging his fingers into the ground like a child, when Ibiki found him. Ibiki touched the copy-nin's shoulders lightly, the barest brush of fingertips, and knelt next to him with creaky joints.

"Ibiki," Kakashi said carefully, shoving his fingers deeper into the dirt. "-san," he added after a moment, almost thoughtfully, with a sick looking smile.

"Reiji just told me about Iruka. How are you?"

"How do you think I am? I fucking loved him," Kakashi grumbled. His fingers were curled in the dirt, hands bent enough so the palms fit in the small holes. "But I'm fine, see?" He gave Ibiki another sick smile.

"You look sick. You think you'll be able to hold up?"

"I'll be fine," Kakashi repeated, savagely. He clawed at the holes with a short burst of ferocity, then fell still, hands hanging at his sides. Ibiki looked everywhere but at Kakashi, clenching his jaw, then loosening it.

"I was scared," he finally said, still not looking at Kakashi, "that you'd- like Raidou. I don't think I could deal with it, if you did."

"Don't have to worry," Kakashi whispered, eye closed. "Can't afford that now, right? I'll be fine. Just need some time." He stood slowly, touching Ibiki's arm as he stood, leaving a streak of dirt on Ibiki's sleeve. "Don't worry," he repeated, distractedly. "Don't- Just don't worry."

Ibiki watched him walk away, then looked over to the side. At his nod, Reiji approached him, his eyes looking beyond Ibiki, watching the departing Kakashi.

"What do you think?" Reiji asked, standing next to the younger man. Ibiki sighed and poked at the two small holes.

"I don't know. He's fine one minute, and he's shaking the next. I don't think he even realizes what he's doing."

"I don't want to sound a bastard," Reiji said, "but we need him. Think he'll fight?" Ibiki nodded and Reiji stretched, popping his shoulders. "I liked Iruka," he said suddenly, rolling his arms back. "He was funny, always made me laugh. Nice guy, too. Was too bad." Ibiki nodded again and Reiji smiled at him. "Yeah, well, I've got to go see about getting the wounded back to Konoha. Do me a favor, and watch Kakashi for a while? We can't afford for him to lose it."

"Sure," the younger man said, still sitting on the ground, "I'll watch Kakashi."

!-!-!

Iruka could feel his body shake, from the inside out. He was sure that if he was holding a cup, all the water would spill out, but that didn't matter, since he was just trying to hold onto Gai. He wasn't sure why he was shaking all over, but maybe it was because he was so tired? He was too tired to really hold on, or think, or, sometimes, even breathe. And the strangest thing was that he could feel his lungs shiver, just like the rest of him. At least, he imagined that he could. He lungs shivered, and his mangled chest shook, and the shattered bones moved, grinding against each other, all in his head and in his body. And he was so confused. His thoughts kept changing, and he wasn't sure which part was right, and which was wrong, and which was real, and which was fake.

"I'm shaking," he whispered in Gai's ear, very quietly, because he didn't really want Gai to hear. "I'm shaking all apart."

Gai kept running, but Iruka could feel the way the older man tensed up, muscles becoming rigid before they loosened, sliding back into the seamless motions. "Sensei?" he asked, and Iruka was sure he was just trying to be polite.

"My muscles are shaking," Iruka explained, hating the way his words slurred together. And his mind was just so confused.

Gai stopped and reached up a hand, lying his palm against Iruka's cheek. Iruka blinking, breathing slowly, and then Gai patted his cheek, the motion big and clunky. "You're not shaking," he reassured the teacher, and Iruka tried to swallow down the relieved feeling.

"You're just fine," Gai said again, shifting Iruka over his broad back, and the younger man sighed, lying his head on Gai's shoulder.

"Thank you," he said softly, confused and not entirely sure, and tired. His mind shivered and his body shook, and he breathed.






Ho-hum. So I'm not sure. I guess it's alright. I'm more proud of it now, than I was a bit ago. I poked and prodded it, and I think it came along alright? Hopefully so. And I think this is the end of the fourth chapter. Well, maybe not. I always post such short chapters, I feel bad. But then again, it's been so long since I've posted, perhaps I should, anyways? But now I'm getting all discouraged. I'll hush, and go to bed. And this took an hour to write! Ugh... I'm so slow, and crappy. Need...Sleep...

And sorry that my lj is so wide, telosphilos and marmaladecat, and anyone else. I'm gonna check out why, tomorrow. Perhaps. Erk.

Comments

[telosphilos.livejournal.com]

Such a sad story. Not sure there is any way for your set up to have a happy ending. Gai has such good character. Amazing. He might be wierd, but you can count on Gai.

[marmaladecat]

Oh yes, definitely agreed on the Gai count - the most human portrayal I've seen of him is in this fic, y'know - the most believeable.

I adored that interaction between Ibiki and Kakashi, yummy. I love to see them talking and reacting and having shared histories. It feeds my inner fangirl.

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

:)

It's like this entire story has become a lesson on "How to Write Gai." And what a fun lesson it is! I'm so glad he's believable. It's hard, to write him, but it's so fun, especially when people like him. Hehe

And I'm falling in love with Ibiki, too. Ugh, all my secondary characters are becoming the primary characters, and I don't wanna write Kakashi. Urk.

Ah, random comment. Your Up In the Air RP looks cool. I'm trying to talk myself into applyting. But...that was my random comment. :)

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

Happy ending? *cough* Well... It'll be bittersweet?

As a character, I love Gai. He's so one of my favorites now. At first, he creeped me out a bit, but now it's just pure, pure love between him and me.

[dana-fields.livejournal.com]

Another fantastic part! ^_^ Kakashi and Ibiki were great. I relly loved that part... How Ibiki is worried that Kakashi will become like Raidou... I hope he won't! Because his Iruka is still alive (for now, anyway), and someone really need to tell him that. But nobody knows it, so I guess poor Kakashi will have to wait to see him! You hear that, Kakashi? You better not go and get yourself killed just because you think Iruka's dead too! *shake fist*

His lungs shivered, and his mangled chest shook, and the shattered bones moved, grinding against each other

Ow. >.< That looks painful. Made me cringe, actually. Poor, poor Iruka. He looks so bad... I still hope he's gonna make it.

And yes, Gai = Love <3

Once again, I could picture everything in my head. Which is a good thing (excellent, in fact), but also a bad thing, because so much bad stuff is happening... >.

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

Yay! You're so nice to me.

Well, I can promise you that Kakashi won't go the same route as Raidou. And he won't get himself killed because of Iruka. Of course, that's not saying that he won't not get himself killed. Erk. Must hush, before I ruin the story. *insert evil laughter here*

People love Gai! If they didn't, I'd cry. And then write GaiKaka porn, because...yes. Because. *hides GaiKaka stuff*

And...am I overdoing it with Iruka? Because something I hate in stories, is when someone gets the crap beat out of them, but five minutes later, they're fine. >< So I try to keep him hurt..and hurt..but perhaps he's being harped upon too much?

Hehe.

[dana-fields.livejournal.com]

*is now afraid more for Kakashi than for Iruka* Meep!

GaiKaka? Well... O_o Do whatever you want... (This doesn't mean I wouldn't read it XD)

Oh no, you're not over doing it, really! After all, it must really hurt to have your ribs broken like that...

And thank you for fixing the layout!

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

Yay! The layout works for you!

So my computer is different from other peoples, and a layout that works fine on mine doesn't work on others. Silly computer.

I'd be more afraid for Kakashi, too, but...well...hmm...

:)

[luv-wiz.livejournal.com]

^____^

It came out good , awesome , perfecto ~~ XD

And your layout was fine for me ... >____>;;;;

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

Doll, you're such a doll.

And I fixed the layout just a bit ago, so it should work for everyone. :)

[nezumiko.livejournal.com]

Of course you're not overdoing it (but then coming from me perhaps that isn't all that much of a reassurance ?) I'm horribly worried now for all of them. And I love what you're doing with Ibiki. I completely understand that feeling of wanting to spend time on the side characters - they're so interesting, and such open canvases.

Anyway, I loved it, as always! Maybe I'll be able to write again myself one of these days. Miss you. Sorry I've been absent so much. Being sick is a bitch!

Nezu

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

I miss you! I'll be on later tonight, around eleven or so your time, I believe.

And good, I'm glad I'm not overdoing it. Iruka just gets worse and worse. *insert more evil laughter here*

Indeed, I love side characters. But more than anything, I just want to write about Iruka and Gai. It's just because I'm Iruka-centric, I suppose. Of course, this whole story was just for Iruka, to begin with, but I feel like I should occasionally pretend to care about the other characters.

[alana2x1.livejournal.com]

Tis good tis good. Kakashi's angsting over his 'not so dead really' 'Ruka was very good and I hope we get to see more of that *evil, sadistic type grin* angst is good, hehe.

Your Gai is well written, particularly the line 'and then Gai patted his cheek, the motion big and clunky.' I dunno why but this line stuck out for me, very Gai-ish ^^; I think your suffering Iruka is spot on. Having ribs broken and nearly being buried alive is certainly nothing to be easily shrugged off, despite things like morphine helping out.

So yes, I'm also worried about Kakashi now but meh, I like teh angst too much to worry too much, heh.

Great stuff! (and I think your actual chapters are a decent length, not too short not too long, lol)

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

I totally see Gai as a big, clunky, somewhat awkward guy. Strong, yeah, but almost clumsy. *fangirls Gai*

And Iruka just...yeah. Sometimes, I myself wonder if Iruka's even going to make it to Konoha. He just... poor baby. *and yet more evil laughter*

And this just angst along, for the rest of the fic. :)

[fabledtruant.livejournal.com]

very nicely done, as expected :)
i liked how you portray iruka's mind at this moment, very confused and struggling with it, in addition to his physical maladies.

and poor, dear kakashi. liking how ibiki was trying to feel him out. he is a great character. (though i recently watched the filler eps with the idate/morino story background and i think he sort a came out an asshole in those) i'm guessing i can read this whole chapter at ffnet now?

[midnightdiddle.livejournal.com]

I really, really need to watch Naruto. Someday. But until then...was he really a bastard? Asshole? Jerk? One or all of the above? Oh well...

And yes, you can read the whole thing on ff.net.

I'm so glad you liked Iruka's mind thing. I just needed to write more, to finish up the part and the chapter, and...well...it happened? It worried me so much. *cling* I'm so dependent upon your approval.